calling the kettle black

I don’t know about any of you however i can only speak for myself.  I am one of those people who likes to call a spade a spade, shoot from the hip and a straight shooter as they say.  I am always more than willing to help someone out and help see a solution to the situation… there has been a time or two when i will think come on, its so obvious its right there in front of you, you just need to make the change…  so as i was starting my day, i pulled my cards that i pull each morning   ( you know the kind that keep you in a good positive place or at least help you get there, four agreement cards, caryolyn myss and heart cards..) anyway me being me, one drops out of the deck so i figure that is the one the universe wants me to have and of course i have to pull one myself because god forbid just the universe has a say…your getting a clearer picture now aren’t you…yes i always have something to say..can it be an attribute you bet however it can also be one of those annoying things.. please don’t get me wrong there are times that i do know how to be quiet…
back to the point of my story here today, the universe card was  BREAK NEGATIVE HABITS.  you know be cognizant of negative practice that one engages in that causes them to lose power..can be anything negative thoughts, over eating, always being late, not following through, over speaking while someone else is talking, and so on…of course the first things that come to my mind are having a glass of wine and some cheese when i know neither are that great for me (messes up my sinuses), not making it to my exercise classes(effecting my goal of weight reduction), telling people what they need to do to get better when i am not practicing it myself  🙁
It is always so easy to see what someone else needs to do and most of the time i have no problem telling them (if they are asking) and yet as i carried on this morning sooooo many things came flashing into my mind.
I have a friend whom is addicted to fentanyl, she has been using for years, the ministry has taken her children away and has been involved with her family for the last 3-4 years.. she comes to me for advice and help…we have big talks when she isn’t using and discuss the things she needs to do in order to get healthy.. i always suggest treatment, she has a million different reason on why she doesn’t need treatment…( the work starts when you walk out the doors not walking in, i already know what to do, i already have the tools, its to long to stay, i do not like people telling me how to spend my days, blah blah blah. and on it goes)  I always have a reply ( the work starts when you walk through the doors and the journey starts on the way out, if you had the tools then why aren’t you applying them, why are you worried about someone telling you how to function in your day you have no control right now, maybe you just do not want to be clean, blah blah blah and on it goes..)
This lovely morning with this lovely card the images that come screaming back to me in my mind are of my friend and I.  I always come from a place of love while talking with her and want the best for her, worry about her well being and if she will be around in the next while if she continues to live this life style and that’s when it hits me aren’t i calling the kettle black, why don’t i take my advice, my direction and do what i suggest…sure i am not addicted to a drug that is killing people left right and center however i am not practicing self care, i am finding all the excuses and reason for staying in my stuck place, i have great intentions of doing things different however i am not making the changes, i think about heading out for my walk and then something less taunting comes along, i know what i need to do to get to where i want to be however my fear and negative habits keep me in my cycle of ewwh…how am i any different, i am not, i just believed i was because of the nature of our addiction:(
The card i pulled was …SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYTHING….   DONE   if that doesn’t allow you to see the good then im not sure what does… my great lesson for the day…

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